jazz is blue?

so im reading through pieces of blue like jazz.. this is something julie has taught me, and i couldn't put it in better words

"I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God because I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous or clean; accepting God's love will. The ability to accept God's unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey Him in return. Accepting God's kindness and free love is something the devil does not want us to do. If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not lover her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of His love."

Wow. i hear the lies all the time. that i have to cut myself. that i deserve punishment. that god loves me but he'll still forgive me if i hurt myself. that i dont deserve to eat. that im getting fatter and fatter and even eating that apple will make me gain weight. that im ugly. and worthless and dumb. these are all lies. but without someone there to help me do a true and false test i have no real way of remembering that. when satan gets in our heads it can be hard to know who and what to listen to. satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy, whereas jesus came to give us abundant life.. peace, love, joy. we aren't above god's grace. we need it just as much as the people on the street, and the people in war. we are not better than them. we need god. we need his love. and his grace. we cant do anything to earn it. we just have to accept it. this is random. not put together well. but its whats in my mind right now.